I feel the need to address the purpose of my blog. Someone anonymous noted that she felt down from reading my blog as there has been too much negativity lately. Honestly if you don't like what you read, don't read it anymore. Now, the reason I began this blog in the beginning was to journal the events of my children's lives. To have running stories, sort of a virtual diary for them to read later. I also have those intentions of finishing their baby books, and I hope that my journal will help me fill in dates and information. This blog has succeeded in keeping our family and friends updated on the latest joys and tribulations of raising children. Grandparents in particular were always interested in hearing about Chelsea's development and progress, so by keeping an online journal I didn't have to call each and every grandparent every time she sat up, or got a new tooth, or learned to drink from a straw. Obviously the blog has turned it's focus more now to Chelsea's fight with cancer.
Lastly, I am a writer. I have always enjoyed writing and that is why the blog has been a good fit for me. It helps me express my feelings good AND bad. Whether I am journaling about how my heart is overflowing with love for my daughter, or how it is breaking because I miss my family, I am creating something that is therapeutic for me. I will not apologize if you do not like what you read. I may however rethink this current blog and it's contents. Perhaps I need to start a new page, anonymously, where I can truly express my feelings not limited by the repercussions of my words. I'm afraid it's time for a blog break for me. Maybe a few days, maybe a week, I'm not sure.
For now I'll leave you with her counts from this morning. Everything is up except her platelets, but looks like no transfusions today.
WBC - 1.18
HGB - 9.1
PLTS - 56
ANC - 500
One more thing for my anonymous commenter, if you had been reading for longer than a few weeks, you would know how highly I think of our hospital and staff. They are truly remarkable people and are the most skilled of their kind. They have saved my daughters life. I hope you understand I would never take that for granted. I am just here surviving, not to make friends or enemies.
Hello world!
3 years ago
39 comments:
Carey,
I am heartbroken that somebody would take it upon themselves to reprimand you for your blog. Personally, I enjoy reading about your dearest and purest feelings and how you are coping everyday with the challenges that keep coming your way. I think you are a brilliant writer and are so correct that those who don't should go somewhere else. I am sure there are plenty of 11 year old girls out there that have blogs full of sunshine and ponies and if that is what your anonymous reader wants to read, then they should learn how to do a google search!
Hang in there. 2 more days of isolation. I am praying for your sanity every day!
Kristine
My heart goes out to you right now.
You are doing an amazing job of keeping your sanity in these hard times you face. You are so brave, and I admire your and Chelsea's strength. Everyone gets nasty comments sometimes, but remember that there are so many people out there who respect and admire you.
Please don't go!
I'm only an occasional commenter, but loyal lurker ... and I'm shocked that someone would kick you while you're down. First of all, I don't think you're negative at all ... you're truthful in expressing your feelings during a very difficult time in your life. Obviously, this anonymous commenter has never faced having her child have cancer ... let alone being stuck in isolation on top of it all. It's the commenter that seriously needs to re-think things, not you. Please don't let him/her chase you away. I don't know what I'd do without my regular "fix" of Chelsea!!!!
(((Hugs)))
Michelle
Carey, I don't know that I've ever left a comment, even though you're on my Google Reader and I keep up with Chelsea, Logan, and the fam. I've had to seriously cut back on blogging time (it's so darn addicting) so I read about and keep up with Chelsea's progress and we pray for her each night, but I haven't come over to the site to comment. I know that's kind of annoying in readers...so I'll apologize for lurking.
I just wanted to de-lurk to give you kudos in light of this post. I don't think you should feel the need to apologize or explain yourself in any way. This is your blog for your purpose, and no one is forced to read it. I have spent plenty of times in hospitals with Braska, but nothing anywhere near what you're dealing with. I would not be nearly as diplomatic and "with it" as you are in that situation, I'm sure.
Take a break if you need, that's understandable, but know that there are a zillion of us here that care from afar in blogland. We'll continue to pray for Chelsea and watch her beat this stuff!!
You know what I think?? I think anyone who is offended at YOUR thoughts, YOUR struggles, and YOUR perceptions should have the frickin' courage to sign her name to her comment!! And if she doesn't like what she's reading...QUIT READING IT!!
By all means, you take a break if you want - but I'm glad you make no apologies! Who is this "anonymous" person in the grand scheme anyway???!!! Don't give it a second thought! Just keep doing whatever works for you and your family!
I have been reading Chelsea's blog for several months now and I think you are doing an amazing job! I think that whoever wrote that negative post was heartless. Just look at Chelsea's adorable face! You are doing this for her, not some negative person! If they don't like it, they shouldn't read it! I will continue to pray for you, Ryan, Logan and Chelsea. Remember, your family is the most important thing. God has truly blessed you!
Angela
Carey- Your blog is for YOU and for the friends and family that love you. Anyone that has a problem with it doesn't have to read it. We pray for you daily.
Chris (Nana's mom)
Again, Amen to what everyone else has said. This is is your world and I thank you for letting us have a glimpse!!
We missed you guys so much today!
Love to you all!
Carey, As you know I am a regular reader but have rarely posted. I too cannot imagine why someone who was getting such negative vibes would go to the trouble to post such a comment. STOP READING AND MOVE ON SISTER! Like your friends have said this is your blog..it is for you to write your thoughts, feelings, happy or sad, disgruntled or appreciative etc. etc. I myself think this has been your way of coping with all this chaos in your life. We all cope in different ways. I think this is much better than some other options. As far as the nurses go...it is true they do have problems and lives of their own. Some days may not be as good as others. The one thing that all medical people need to keep in mind is this. They have taken care of lots and lots of kids with cancer, old folks with strokes, mothers having babies, whatever their specialty may be. The thing they must remember is, this is your child and your first time dealing with a seriously ill child, the elderly womans spouse of many years suffering a stroke, a woman having maybe only her first, second or third baby. These hospital staff who have maybe not performed to the best of their ability have probably never been in a situation such as yours. Trust me, until you have lived this there would be no possible way to fully comprehend the impact it makes on your childs life as well as everyone close to the child. I feel you must just continue to do what you have been doing for Chelsea to be her number one advocate. Every patient in any hospital should be so fortunate to have such a strong advocate as you. Keep up the good work, don't quit blogging because of one negative comment. If you wan tot take a break from blogging do it because you feel like it is what is best for you. I hope to see you soon. Know that I am thinking of you all the time and you are all constantly in my thoughts and prayers. Love, Mom
I'm new to your blog. I've come across it once in the past and tonight I've spent quite a bit of time reading bits and pieces and really enjoying all the pictures of your lovely little girl....I ADORE her eyes!
I just wanted to encourage you to continue to blog exactly as you have been. When my oldest spent days and weeks in the hospital I didn't have a blog for an outlet. I have to think if I had I would not have felt so lonely.
So keep up the fight and the good work! You're doing great!
Oh Carey....I have dealt with the nasty comments all too much. It seems like whenever I have something rough going on and I blog about it, I get slammed. Which is why you can't comment anonymously anymore.
Then they thought they would be funny and make up a fake profile with the name slutinsky and still pester me. I just delete it. One person leaves a nasty comment and that's all you can think about, I know all too well.
Then Andy told me something, he told me to look at all of the positive comments people are leaving, and I focus on the one bad one? It made sense, now I just think whatever, they must have a really sad life to hurt people who are already under stress dealing with a child who has medical needs.
Please don't stop doing your blog. It's YOUR blog, and gosh darn it, I cannot live without Chelsea updates and pictures, and funny Logan stories.
If I have to kick and scream and hold my breath to make you keep blogging, then dang it, I am going to do it, and I promise it won't be pretty!!! :O
I love you girlfriend, and you need to keep this blog, you have touched too many lives with your little fighter and you give hope to so many people.
Call me if you need to talk okay? I promise you I have been through all of this, and I know how it feels.
((HUGS)) and Loves,
Pam and Rhett
I check your blog daily. I actually found it from Rhett's blog and I was sucked in. I am so happy she is doing as well as could be with cancer but lets face it cancer sucks and how dare that anoynomous think that she/he can dictate that your not positive enough. Obviously she/he has a happy perfect life and has never had to deal with hardship or illness. Well poop on her/him. Please don't stop doing your blog, Chelsea is an inspiration!!!
I am leaving my email just in case you make your blog private, I would love to still be able to see how she is doing.
cor_n_wes_mom@yahoo.com
Some people need to get a life if they have nothing better then to be mean. I love to read your honesty and understand if you need a break but please come back.
I hate that someone said nasty things to you. Only people who are in situations like yourself can understand what it is like. And I agree about the blog being theraputic. I don't know what I would do with all of my emotions without blogging. And you are right, if they don't like, then don't read it. This is ultimately for you not for everyone else. It just so happens that the world can see what we blog. I don't give it a second thought usually about what I blog. I do it for me and my family. I love that so many other people tune in, don't get me wrong. You hang in there, and hopefully I will venture upstairs soon and see you and beautiful Chelsea.
Take Care
Megan
Carey I am sorry that some people don't know when to keep their mouth shut! I don't understand though why she felt the need to spill HER feelings of your blog. It's YOUR blog for god sake and you can write whatever you feel.
I sure wish I had enough time in my day to sit and criticize the way other people feel!
Take care,
Nicki & Ashlyn
cp: ashlynnichole
I have been reading your blog daily & have enjoyed every moment. Don't adjust your life to accomodate someone else's "ISSUES". This is your life, Chelsea's life & your entire family. You are very brave to show all the raw emotion of what your family is going through. Keep it up. We are cheering you on here in Seattle and praying for Chelsea's recovery. Such a sweet angel baby! She has so much to teach us all. Like you said, reading a blog is a choice. If you don't like it, don't read it.
Hi, I read you blog often because I came across it one day and couldn't get over how adorable your Chelsea is. Now I have to check in on her every day to see how she is doing. I'm so glad she is doing well, but all the little things you are dealing with right now on top of the BIG THING that starts with a "C" would be enough to drive anyone over the edge. I have been amazed to see how you manage to stay so positive! You are are smart mom, you know your baby needs you to be strong -- and I can tell you stay so strong for her. You need to be able to let out some negative emotions some time. My goodness, I cannot believe that nasty person who left that comment does have any "empathy for you as a mother." That person cannot possibly be a mother. A mother would be able to have some insight, even if they have NEVER been in the hospital with a sick kid, as to how hard all this must be for you. I hope that person is reading all these comments and is ashamed right now! I never comment on blogs, and I read a ton of them. But I need to give you one more positive comment in hopes that it will encourage you to completely forget about that cruel person and her petty comment. You do not have to share your thoughts and feelings with the world. By doing so, you are giving a gift. It is our privilege to read about your beautiful daughter and your daily life with her. Thank you for sharing! You inspire people that will never have a chance to meet you. I pray for you and Chelsea each day. You guys are heroes!
I'm going to be so sad if you change the content of your blog b/c of that stupid anonymous commenter. I love your blog because it is so REAL. It's all about LIFE. I guess your could change it to be nothing but sunshine and roses...but I think that would be boring. Oh, the new technology of blogging - able to reach so many people (and touch their hearts) but it also comes with the risk of idiots leaving stupid comments where they don't belong. Keep your blog the way you want it, because it's YOUR blog.
I'd hate to see you go because of the insensitivity of one person that had no right to say something like that to you. You have dealt with what you are going through so well and with a very positive outlook. Everything can't be all roses and there are always rough spots. You should be able to vent and write about those things without someone giving you crap about it. All that person has to do is stop reading if it bothers them.
Whatever you decide, you, Chelsea and your family are always in my prayers.
Carey, I hate that you are going to take a break because of someone who wanted to be mean. I look in on you and your family, waiting to see what new thing Chels did or just how daily life is. It is my therapy, to see that other people are going through trials like we are and have good and bad days. It is OK to have good and bad, if someone says they dont--HELLO LIAR! I will continue to check everyday. I am thinking of you..Karen
Please Please Please keep posting....I am begging with Pam!!!
All of these responses left to bash me for commenting, are extrememly entertaining for many reasons. I haven't seen a response like Carey's since fifth grade.
(huff!) "You aren't being very nice, so I quit!"
Just like that girl on my kickball team, I'm sure you're feeling so proud of your white-flag wave. For it has ensured that people come in droves to tell you how great you are, and "don't do it", and "how dare her...you're better/she's bad". My intent was not to hurt you, but your readers will do a fine job of pumping you full of warm-fuzzies until you believe that your 'blog tantrum' is totatlly justified.
I see that everyone who has taken the time to comment has made sure to bash my ability as a mother, the amount of heart I have, and the lack of courage I possess. Each one surmounting in anger until this has blown waaaay out of proportion. I think that the most ironic idea running thru these comments is the "how dare someone who doesn't know you say such things....". Funny that no one else has a problem degrading me. Even though my anonymity ensures that you have no idea what struggles I endure on a daily basis. Surely Carey's are worse, though...right? Because that's what gives her the right to constantly write about what a bunch of dummies and ignoramies work in that prison she is held captive in.
I made it very clear that Carey is a wonderful mother, and she is to be admired for her courage in this terrible time. I said nothing about thinking it not ok that she vents thru her blog. I didn't say who she should write about, what she should say, how she should feel, or when she should say it. I was simply noting that your negativity TOWARDS HOSPITAL STAFF is a little disheartening. I am a mother. And a better one than I ever would have if I didn't spend so much time in the hospital. I have been in the hospital system. I have encountered hundreds of nurses, doctors, techs, and others. You can feel however you want. You should know that. I just wonder if you've ever thought about weather or not the staff, that works to help your little girl, reads this blog. Weather or not your comments may hurt their feelings. And how I find it ironic that your readers will all will run to your aid because you heard someone talking about you, but have no defense for the staff that reads your digs at them every day.
Hi Carey..I am delurking. I check on your blog every night. I want to know how Chelsea is but I also want to know how your doing as her Mom.
I am a long time survivor of lymphoma another blood cancer. As an adult its hard to take..so I can't imagine what your going through with Chelsea and your family. I know its tough.
My thought is this. If others can't handle what your write its their loss. I have found out one thing from my own blog. That most haven't walked in shoes of those of the families who do have cancer to deal with. They are quick to talk and don't understand the total package on just how hard life can be.
I commend you as a Mom. Your right there in so many ways for Chelsea. She has many needs..and you are taking care of them I feel as a mom thats our job..no matter what it brings. You are doing great.
I wouldn't let one comment stop me from telling your story and Chelsea's. IF more of us talked openly about cancer..maybe the old stigma that comes with might just die. We are the teachers Carey. Go on writing and saying whats going on. IF it helps you to write go for it!!
My prayers are with Chelsea and your family. Always Hope
Carey, Thanks for posting about EVERYTHING when it comes to Chelsea. You know I always need to come here to check how she is doing!!!! Somethings are not going to be rosy all the time and thats ok. Your blog is for you to tell the story and if someone doesn't enjoy it, well thats ok too. We all have our own thoughts and opinions and you cant let one person get you down. If they feel down about your posts maybe they need a break from your blog!
just keep doing what you do!!!
love ya!
gosh, such trouble in the land of blogging.you had some great comments to go on about your anonymous commenter, and i am positive they have said everything i couldn't think of.in fact i stopped reading most of them because everyone was right, there is no need to sop posting because of one commenter.a blog is just like a diary, only instead of keeping it under your pillow or in your sock drawer, it's out on the coffee table as a book for guests to flip through while visiting.please continue to write how you feel about everything from broccoli to nurses.no matter who you are, someone ALWAYS has something to talk about and get off their chest.this blog is your vent...if you stop venting here, who's going to be the one you blow up on, by accident?
How could someone say that to you? You DO NOT have a responsibility to sugarcoat the stories of your life in order to avoid bringing others "down." This blog SHOULD be a place where you can write whatever you want, and find support! If people can't handle reading about your life, then they should just avoid this blog!!!
I am leaving a response to the anonymous person who seems as though they need to make themselves clear to us about how they feel. Frankly this blog is for "family and friends" and not anyone who feels like they need to watch over us to make sure we are politicaly correct.I also would like to say that if any of this blog is offensive to please stop reading about my family,please. |We are going through alot of emotional stress right now and really dont need comments like this. |I would also ask that if you feel that you need to defend who ever you are defending to please back off and find somthing else to do with your time.I'm not the kind of person to do this internet thing but I will say that these good people are not here to bash on anyone except for those who need to leave us alone.
Carey, I completely understand if you need a break from the blog. there are more important things going on in your life. I certainly don't want you to be hurt by insensitive comments about your blog. I'm sorry that happened and will never understand why people feel the need to make inappropiate comments on blogs like yours. Please know that there are so many people (too numerous to count) that care, love, appreciate and admire your for your courage and dedication to keeping "US" informed. Blog or no blog we will always be there for you and your family. Love & Hugs Terry
Carey your feelings are your own and you do not have to apologize for having them. You are entitled not only to feel them but to express them in this way. I am sorry that a commentor has made you feel that you can't open up on your own blog. I have read your blog longer than Chelsea has had leukemia and I know it has only been recently that you have had issues with some of the staff. People just need to realize that living in a situation such as yours and seeing it from a distant perspective is totally different. Hugs my friend.
Carey - I LOVE reading your blog. It's usually one of the first sites I go to in the morning as I'm enjoying my first cup of coffee at 5:15am and the rest of the household is sleeping. I was a reader before the Cancer journey and continue to be! I'm amazed that people can leave hurtful & insensitive comments. I'm not sure why they just don't visit blogs that are of more interest to them. I hope to see you posting again soon and if not, please know my family prays for Chelsea, you, Ryan and Logan EVERYDAY! Hugs and prayers to you my friend.
I don't have the time or energy to devote an entire new post to the drama on my blog, but I do want to say to my family and friends thank you for your support and please do not let this anonymous commenter deter you from reading.
Have I thought about WHETHER or not hospital staff have read my blog? Sure, I've given some of them the address. I always think about that when I post, but it's not going to stop me from posting the events of the day. I think anyone would admit we do have some pretty strange and funny events take place around here, and my description of the events are meant to be taken light heartedly. I think most readers with a sense of humor get that. I mean really, can't you picture the crabby lady who won't let go of the five extra stamps, or ... envision me, in the middle of the night fumbling around to silence that darned pump and whispering into my walkie talkie? In no way do I have intentions of insulting, degrading or speaking down to the staff here at Childrens. Fortunately they all know me and my family very well, and I think they've all got my personality figured out. They know despite my goofy sense of humor I'm a dependable honest parent (who according to one doctor worries too much). I am an open book, and there's no denying that. I do however believe my readers do not come here to read blogger 'drama' so let's move on please. I no longer will allow anonymous comments, so if you care to discuss this further, please disclose your identity when you comment or better yet, shoot me an email. Thanks!
I just commented last night about the pictures of Chelsea eating the cookie with pink icing-when I saw those they Brightened my day, put a smile on my face, and made me laugh.
When everyone was sick on top of your baby having leukemia, and on top of your daily responsibilities I said prayers for you because in some ways as a mom myself I could empathize with you.
I love to read your blog-the good AND the bad, and I would surely miss your blog and everything special in it if you went anonymous.
I also can empathize with your feelings of being in isolation with a toddler at the hospital. Just being IN a hospital is difficult enough, and then to be isolated, especially when the RSV is gone-I can understand your frustration, and to me it sounds ridiculous too, and I am in the medical profession.
It really doesn't matter what I think/feel because this is your blog to express your feelings any way you want, and I hope you continue!
Thinking of you, Chelsea, and your family,
amanda in mb, sc
I love reading your blog, and I am a nurse at Children's Mercy, and found you through Isabella and Gabi's pages, so you probably know where I work by that comment, but I have talked with several other nurses who read your page and love it as well. Never have I taken offense to anything that was written in your blog. In fact another nurse and I were talking and said that reading it helps us to see it from a parent's perspective. This helps because I think sometimes we may forget how our "rules" come off to parents, and reminds us to be sympathetic and considerate. I think nurses and doctors sometimes need to hear how they come off. And as a nurse myself, I know I can learn from people in your situations. So I ask that you don't stop being real, and that you continue to blog about exactly how you feel. I love reading about your family, and I agree that blogs are an excellent source to keep family informed and to vent out feelings. And Chelsea is absolutely beautiful, and your pictures always put a smile on my face.
I may not comment much, but I enjoy reading about your family and Chelsea's journey.
Annonymous comments tick me off!! Have the guts to put a name to your "wisdom". If this person only had a clue.
I'm so sorry you had to experience this, that's no fair.
I would defintaly say if you have the NERVE to come here and attack someone for posting on THEIR blog then have the balls to not do it anon!!!! Carey...get a sitemeter to figure out who this person is, it's so easy to say these hurtful words thinking our anon lets see how it would feel if her/his identity was exposed. You do what you have to do Carey. Your family is going through enough and you do NOT need this crap coming at you.
Anoynomous: If you had a backbone, you would leave your name, but uh I guess you don't.
Carey: You should be able to delete this selfish awful women's comments.
On my blog if you haven't left a comment before It goes to me, so I have to approve it, before it's published. I would of sent this women's comments straight to the spam corner, where they belong.
Carey-
I was concerned that I wouldn't be able to leave comments, however signing up was super easy! Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you all always! I am an avid reader of your blog as well, I love that I can hop on here and get completely updated without calling and bothering you everytime I (or we at Hillcrest) want an update, so I truly hope your break will be short and your blog will continue to be a place for you to update all of us out here who are thinking about your family and a place for you to share your thoughts and emotions! You have a knack for writing and wonderful way of sharing your families experiences! I am so proud of you! Take care, Leah
Carey,
Honey move on, life is to short to argue on the blog. This is your page and your feelings so let it rip. Everyone has opinions are entitled to them, we just do not have to agree with what they say. Spend your energies on Chelsea, not on a nameless person, as they got want they wanted to get you upset. Stay focused and this period of your life and it will make you a stronger person.
Nora
I'm sorry you had to go through this - given all you already have on your plate. Best wishes,
Beth
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