This time of year makes me reflect upon the blessings in my life. It's so easy to dwell on all that we don't have, it's time I remembered all the reasons I should be so thankful.
As I walk through the house each night, fans abuzz, I count those blessings, 1, 2, 3.
One, Chelsea. Oh were to start? Five years ago I knew I loved that little one growing inside me, but I had no idea to the extent she would change my life, and my vision. One of the most important things she has taught me is compassion. When you see someone in need, do you lend a hand, or do you look away?
On a recent trip through Wal-Mart, Chelsea and I were passing through the busy aisles, headed to the school supplies. Just as we passed housewares, Chelsea turned around and ran back two aisles disappearing from my view. As soon as I lost sight of her, I realized what she was doing. I remembered seeing an employee out of the corner of my eye, stacking the shelves. I had heard a loud noise as we passed, but hadn't thought twice about what could have caused the noise. When I turned the corner Chelsea had already picked up the bowl the employee had dropped, and was handing it to the woman. I can't think of another person, young or old, who would have been so perceptive and shown the compassion Chelsea did that afternoon.
Whether it was conscious or not, I had looked away.
Two, Logan. A firecracker since birth. When they said parenting is the hardest job you'll ever have, they weren't kidding. This one keeps me on my toes. He forces me to keep digging, continue growing and question everything (quite literally). He's taught me not to pass judgment too quickly. It happens to all of us; We're deep in conversation, around friends or family we feel comfortable with, and we say things without thinking.
Not long ago I found myself in the middle of a conversation that was all too familiar.
'... and the child was running all over the place, his mother was a mess trying to keep up with him.'
'Well she needs to get control over the situation.'
'Yeah, I would get that under control right away.'
Yeah. Uh-huh, sure you would. Okay, I confess, that was me eight years ago. Ryan and I used to roll our eyes and gaulk in amazement at parents who let their children run around in public like wild animals. We swore up and down that would NEVER be us.
But it is. It's so us. And today I'm hurt by those conversations. I don't know the mother in question, but it sounded to me like she needed to be helped, not ridiculed. Who are we to judge her?
Three, my husband Ryan. It was his strength that first got my attention 12 years ago (he was a strapping young man), and it is what keeps us going today.
When our first born cried for hours on end and I just couldn't do it anymore, he did.
When we received the confirmation of Down syndrome and I locked myself in the bathroom swearing I would never come out, he pushed the door in and lifted me up.
When they began Chelsea's chemotherapy and I realized I was just as scared of the cure as I was the cancer, he wrapped his arms around both of us and didn't let go.
I never knew I would need the strength of an army to survive our first decade of marraige, but I'm glad we had it.
Tonight I thank my wonderful family, I am truly blessed. I hope this Christmas you don't waste precious time fretting over your neighbor's ugly decorations, or who gave the best present, or whose children are the best dressed at church this weekend - and take the time to be thankful for the things in life that really matter.
