Ch ch ch ch ch .... changes

We went out to celebrate tonight. It's a new day. Starting over really. Yesterday was Ryan's last day of "class" for his CNA course. A few days of clinicals and a state exam and he'll have one piece of the puzzle behind him. He has a 97% in the class so far. I told him he's been hiding those smarts in there somewhere, too bad he didn't pull them out in high school, things could have been a lot easier! Today, Ryan made it through his first day of clinicals. Do you know what clinicals are like in a CNA course? Not so much fun, ... at all. Poor guy, he stuck to it though and still plans to go back for more. That's reason enough to celebrate.

He also finally stepped up and talked to his instructor about her language. Earlier he had told another student in the class about Chelsea. The whole thing, the Down syndrome, the cancer, everything. Well on Saturday when when we were in the E.R. with Chelsea, he was called out of class early (yep I called him out, I felt like his mom calling to give him permission to leave early). I suppose after he left, the girl he confided in likely told the instructor all about Ryan's daughter, b/c today when she was talking one on one with Ryan, he asked about her. This took him aback for a second as he didn't know she knew anything about her, but he took the opportunity to make it clear her language was offensive and it made him very upset and offended him deeply. She apologized, a lot. Twice. I think she got it. He said she identified with him in sorts, b/c she is a lesbian and her daughter uses the word 'gay' a lot. You would think she would have "got it" a long time ago. I'm just happy she's in the know now, and hopefully will filter her language a bit. It was hard for me to sit back and let this one play out. I was furious when I learned the language this teacher was using, but I knew this was Ryan's class, he had to take care of it himself. Like Chelsea, he did it in his own time, in his own way. All in all, I'd call it a success.

I've also reached a fork in the road myself. A few weeks ago I sent in my resignation for teaching Jazzercise. I left over three weeks notice, my last day would be October 30. If you're counting that would be this coming Thursday. It was a difficult decision, but I felt it was best for me right now to take some time off. While it is a great program, and it does help relieve stress, as an instructor I was finding it to bring more stress into my life than what it was helping me with. I was losing two entire mornings with Chelsea (and her mornings are limited as preschool starts in January!) I also wasn't really making any money as we live almost a half an hour away, and the drive used up more gas than I would like to admit. I also really just want to be a student again. I don't want to have to worry that I'm not doing every last thing perfectly, I don't want to worry that I've said something to offend someone, I don't want to hear that I shouldn't talk about my kids ... because people don't really care. That's hurtful, and I take it personal; a little too personal usually.

So after putting in my notice, I knew I wanted to have a special last class, and with the holiday, I thought a Halloween class would be fun. I was asked not to tell any of the students I was leaving, not even at my last class. So I didn't, but someone heard, from someone else ... you know how that goes, so by last Thursday, I felt I couldn't lie. So my story was out to my students. Students who I absolutely adore by the way. Then I received an email today telling me I need not return for my last two classes this week.

I'm not going to bash or say anymore, I'm sure you're forming your own opinion here. I will say I'm sad that I'll miss those good byes. At least I don't have to worry about crying now. Oh, and all the treats, goodies and prizes I bought for my students (to give away at the last class I'll never have) will just have to go to Logan's Kindergarten class. I'm sure there won't be any objections coming from him! If you're a student of my Tuesday / Thursday morning class, I will miss you, and please feel free to keep reading our blog, and email me anytime! I still plan to pop in for a class from time to time, and don't worry, I'll bring my side kick with me. She too, will miss Jazzercise.