Dream Big

I suppose I have been taking a little blogging break, without notice, I apologize. Chelsea is doing fine. Her counts are starting to drop, but they were still 1400 yesterday. She's got some redness on her face, just under her eyes, and to our best guess we can only attribute it to her tears burning her skin. Her skin is very fragile, and of course the chemo poisons her body and is released through all of her body fluids. We are able to stay ahead of this effect on her bottom by keeping a diaper doo on as a barrier. It doesn't really bother her, she just looks worse than she really is. She's still running us around, day in day out. Daddy and I are both exhausted. Lack of sleep contributes to our exhaustion as well. Chelsea is a fighter when it comes to sleep and we're becoming desperate to find a solution. I know it's hard to expect much out of her in the hospital, but for our sanity, we MUST get something figured out. It takes 1-1 1/2 hours to put her to sleep every night, and the same at nap time. We have always just rocked her to sleep, but as she starts to drift, she'll begin flexing her legs, kicking us, moving her arms around, try to sit up ... anything to stay awake. She doesn't take a binky, or a bottle, and of all the blankets she has, she doesn't have a favorite. Basically, no security object, and no interest in taking to one. We are at a loss. We can't let her work it out herself, b/c she'll stand up in the crib playing with her bag of chemo, or chewing on the tubes that deliver the chemo to her veins. If any of you moms that read the blog have any suggestions or ideas for us to try, we're pretty much open to anything. How do other 2 and 3 year olds go to sleep?

Now on a completely different note, I have some very sad news. This may be why I have been avoiding blogging for a few days, because I just don't know what to say. I do however want to recognize a precious little baby who has touched many lives. Her name is Ava Rae, and many of you have followed her blog as she has been in the PICU here at Children's since birth. On Wednesday, she was unexpectedly taken from her family, gone to heaven way too soon. My heart is broken for her family. She has a wonderful family, a mom and dad that love her like no other and a phenomenal big brother who has done extremely well adjusting to the change in family dynamics while his sister was sick. I have been in touch with Amy over the past few months through our blogs, through email, and of course we would bump into each other often in the halls of the hospital. Her children are lucky to have such a wonderful mother. She was here for her daughter day in and day out, fighting right along side of her. Amy accepted all of the challenges she had been given with open arms, and still, handles God's surprise with grace. May God bless you Amy, Nate and Kaden as you begin this new chapter of your lives.