Our clinic appointment was at 2:30 this afternoon, we just started chemo, at 9:30. Yes, that's 7 hours. We managed to get her dressing changed in that 7 hours, it was nasty again. I apologize for the sarcastic tone, but emotions are running high. For some reason I've been crying off and on all day.
On the drive up here it got me, thinking about all she's been through and this is it. This is the last round and she's made it, she's a survivor. That's big, no that's HUGE.
I talked to Grandma tonight, she said Logan had a rough day. He got into a little trouble this morning, an extremely minor event, turned tragic. He just lost it, he was bawling over nothing, he was hardly disciplined, but he too is having a tough time with Mom, Dad, and Sissy being gone. I can't blame him. The thought of him being so sincerely sensitive today made my heart hurt even more.
Then this evening Ryan and I were reminiscing about our first round, at diagnosis, sitting in this very room that I sit in tonight. I'm flooded with the memories, the fear, the sadness, and once again I lose it. The treatment has come full circle. We will end our journey in the same room we began on September 26, 2007.
Right now as I type, Chelsea is receiving her her first of 7 bags of Ara-C, and another chemo drug named VP-16. The latter tends to cause low blood pressures, so they are taking her BP every 15 minutes. I recall it getting very low last round just as the drug finished running, so I am on edge, watching the numbers as they pop up every 15 minutes. I can't help but think, what if something happened to her now. Here we've made it through all of this and something happens in the last round. I know it won't though. God is looking out for us tonight and every night.
I leave you with good news, 45 minutes into the hour long bag of VP-16 and her blood pressure is a strong, 90/52 ... she's a superhero. You already knew that though didn't you?!
Hello world!
3 years ago
16 comments:
We are thinking about you and what a happy ending this has come to! I know, don't say to much to soon, but you are right she is a survivor and she will come out with flying colors! Think of how strong this has made you and Ryan and your relationship with the good man upstairs. It has many ups and downs, but the important thing is you all stuck together.
I cannot wait to see you again, especially Miss Chels, since she was napping last time. I will let you know as soon as things change here...we will definitely expect a visit:)
Love you all!
Reading this post made me cry. I understand the emotions, and the feeling of having a true miracle...a superhero...a survivor. Although our babies have been through different situations, I think that it is easy to relate to you as a mommy. I feel your pain when you talk about your other baby at home, I feel your anxiety of seeing your baby take steps forward but fear the two steps back, I feel your comfort of being at home with your babies. You and your family are ALWAYS in my prayers. I am excited for this to be over with for you all. Stay strong Chelsea...as your mommy said, you are very much a SUPERHERO.
Love,
Amy
She is a Superhero - and she's almost done! Then it'll be time to celebrate.
I feel for all of you - I know how hard this must be for Logan; it was so hard on Braden. It will get better. And soon!
Hang in there. You're all in our thoughts.
A Superhero and her Superfamily. As you go through this necessary range of emotions may you know there are countless numbers of us out here, praying for you all. This day is a culmination of an incredible journey filled with so much to reflect on. Take all of it in, feel it and express it. It is all necessary. You and your family .... your daughter, have been gifts to many. Thank you and God Bless you all.
You guys just cry and let it all out! You deserve this cry! I am so happy that this is a good cry for once. It has been a long road, and I am so glad that the end is so very near! Yay for keeping your BP's up, Chelsea!
Chelsea is a survivor, and you are too. You have your right to be emotional and cry all you want. This has been a very long and hard journey.
Carey,
All I can say is "praise God"
And yes Chelsea is a superhero!! It is wonderful that there is light at the end of the tunnel and I can understand why you are so emotional. You have had to stay strong and focused on Chelsea's treatment for so many months and now that you are rounding out to the end, it is time to take a deep breath and let those emotions fly. All of the emotions you have had over the last several months are bound to hit you right now. You are a strong woman and a wonderful mother. Logan will heal from this time away and Chelsea will thrive. Take care and we are thinking of you and praying for you.
Love
Megan
You are all in our thoughts!! Thoughts and prayers!
Carey - I know its hard to stay strong for this long but just think this is it, after this your journey is over. You can do it. Chelsea is a superhero but so are you. You have overcome alot of obstacles and manage to keep your strength for Chelsea. Let Chelsea be your strength throught this last round. You can get through this for her. I understand being emotional, it broke my heart several times to see what Morgan had to go through and just like you the tears just wouldn't stop. (I was like a hydrant some days) But you are almost there, I am so happy for you guys. Chelsea has beat one huge obstacle but not without your help. Chelsea can get through this round just like all the others, she is a strong young lady. Chelsea and your family are always in our thoughts and prayers.
We ended our journey in the same room that it started also. How funny is that? And when we were there the same emotions and feelings came pouring back in. We had mixed emotions about it because alot of stuff happenned in that room that we wish we could forget. But on the other hand it was kind of cool to end our journey there so that we could leave all that behind us.
Give Chelsea our love. And hang in there. You guys can get through this last round and then one long journey of your life will be over.
Wendi
My mom always says a great story ends the same place it began. How appropriate that your last round of chemo is in the same room as the first round. My heart says that is a sign of good luck! 6 more days? Is that right? Wow! Remember, I don't work on Mondays and Fridays and I would love to come visit. I would even bring some frozen meals for you! How is that for a bribe? kschnebly@hotmail.com.
Chelsea is defintely a Superhero and has a wonderful mommy, daddy and brother. I can't imagine how hard this whole experience has been on the family. It's been a difficult road but you have handled it so well. We will continue to pray for Chelsea and the family. We look forward to the party!
Hugs
Chelsea isn't the only superhero I know from your family. She comes by it honestly. She has been strong because you have been strong. Even when you don't feel strong you are strong.
Your journey has come full circle and even though you will live with the memories and concerns for the rest of your lives, you will take so much from the experience.
You have grown and changed in amazing ways through these last few months and I am proud to call you and your family friends.
If we can help with Logan just let us know. Remember he is always welcome here.
Take care and let us know what you need.
Love to all!
Super Hero, indeed! And she is gonna keep on kicking butts every where she goes! You've got an amazing kid on your hands there.
You've done a great job too, Carey.
Wonderful news! She's such a strong little girl, and has such a strong family around her. It's no wonder she's made it through as a superhero. I'm thinking of you and looking forward to hearing about all of the fun and wonderful things "healthy Chelsea" does! She's quite a little girl. I hope she and Sammi get to meet this summer!
Praise the Lord. We're keeping you in our prayers. Your family has had a long tough road. I'm so happy this was the last round. It's been such a journey just reading your blog. What amazing people you all are and I hope you all can just relax now. Hugs!!!
Carey,
Please know that many friends are surrounding you, Ryan, Logan, and of course, the wonderful Miss Chelsea with prayer, positive thoughts, and tons of love.
You hang in there and stay strong (I know you will!) as the light at the end of that tunnel is shining brighter every day!! I'll pray for your strength to get through all of this and for Chelsea to shine as she has through this whole ordeal. You have one amazing little girl, you know?!
Take care of yourself sweetie and give that girl a big hug from me and Cason. If you need to chat, shoot me an email, OK??
Love and hugs,
Peggy, Chris & Cason
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