No Answers Yet

Wow, it's been a long day. We have lots to talk about. When we arrived in clinic today, the doctor thought Chelsea looked great and would do fine with the bone marrow test and starting chemo. Her cold has subsided and she hardly has a runny nose now, so we had no reason to postpone. Her counts were great, her ANC was 2,120, and it only needed to be 1,000 to start chemo again.

The first order of business was her bone marrow aspiration. While she was sedated, she was still slightly awake and her eyes are open during the entire procedure. They only sedate her enough to make her comfortable. The attending said that they were able to get a good sample and she showed me little flakes floating around in the sample of bone marrow. They were either bone or fat, but either way, it meant they have a good sample. They wanted to get the results ASAP because we can't start chemo until we're positive she's still in remission. The doctors have all assured us there is no reason to think she's relapsed, but that this bone marrow aspiration is part of the study we are participating in. Nonetheless we need to be certain the chemo is working before starting round five. If she by chance has relapsed, we will pull her from the study and try to figure out a different route to take with her treatment. Our doctor was in touch with the pathologist this afternoon and he agreed to look at her marrow before he left and try to make a determination.

Here's the part that makes me nervous. The pathologist was unable to confirm her remission. Does that mean she has relapsed? Probably not says the doctor and our nurse tonight. Does mama feel uneasy about it? Oh yes! Our nurse tonight explained that it usually takes a day, and if they are by chance able to get results sooner, that's just an added bonus. So I guess no bonus for us tonight. From a mother's perspective, when they tell me that they can't definitively say she's in remission, my thoughts immediately wander to the opposite side of the spectrum. Wouldn't you think the same way? If she's not clearly in remission, then that means it's back. I know that's really not how it works, that's just how my mind tends to wander.

So for now we sit here and wait. They admitted us and we're back to our second home, 4 Henson. We hope to have the results by 11am tomorrow and then we will be able to start round 5. They will have another pathologist go over it in the morning and they will run her bone marrow on a machine over night and hopefully will have more certain answers soon. Until then, I pray for her remission, and yes, I cry a little bit too. Sometimes fear gets the best of us.

I will update as soon as we get results tomorrow.