I took some time for myself today. While it's relaxing to be away from the stresses of the hospitals, I found it almost unbearable to be at home. Each time I walked past the hallway I looked towards Chelsea's room out of habit. All I saw was her empty crib. I think being home makes me miss truly "being home" even more. I know the time will come though.
Today Chelsea's ANC (absolute neutrophil count) was down to 250 (down from 590 yesterday), which means she is neutropenic. Anything under 500 is considered neutropenic and this is the point in her recovery that she is not allowed to leave the oncology floor of the hospital. The lower this number becomes, the more compromised her immune system is. Since finishing her first round of chemo, this is what we have been waiting for. Before long, her ANC will be 0. Although no one knows for sure, we will likely be waiting for her immune system to recover for another 2-3 weeks. The doctors will not allow us to go home when her ANC reaches a "magic number." They will rather release her from the hospital once her ANC is rising two days consecutively. Unfortunately though, no one knows how long this will take.
I noticed petechiae all over her little feet tonight and her rash has spread. While she was making faces at me I think I saw a couple of small sores on the very back of her tongue. Her Hickman site is also not looking great this evening, it may require another dressing change tomorrow. Because her immune system is so weak, it will be difficult for her to fight off any infection that may come from the rash or sores on her body. So tonight I ask a few things from up above
* That Chelsea is able to avoid infection while her WBC count is low,
* and that she continues to lavish us with her energy and impeccable spirit,
* and finally strength for me to give her the constant care that she deserves to keep her comfortable during this very uncomfortable period of her life.
Hello world!
3 years ago
6 comments:
Carey - I can't imagine how how it might have been to leave and take time for yourself, but you need it! As you said, you need strength to take care of Chelsea. We continue to pray for her especially that she stays infection free and that she continues to lavish you with her energy. We also pray for you, Ryan and Logan everyday.
Michelle - Matthew's Mom
You and Ryan are amazing parents, you are doing a fabulous job! This is a difficult situation, just remember it is important to get home even if it is for just a few hours. Glad to hear you were able to get away, that can be a life saver!
Stay strong together:)
Hi Carey
Ashlyn is only a few days ahead of Chelsea in her treatment for AML and it is amazing how similar this two little girls are.
Ashlyn has a carepage under the name ashlynnichole if you ever want to check it out.
Praying Chelsea stays fever and infection FREE!!!!
Nicki and Ashlyn
Sending tons of prayer for Chelsea. It is difficult to leave but you need to be healthy for your sweet child.
Your precious angel baby has been in my thoughts & prayers. Chelsea has many things to still teach us all. These angels have an inner strength we will probably never understand, but never underestimate this incredible strength. Next time you hold her, take a moment & really feel it. Then, draw from her strength (you'll see she has enough to share with many). Smile twice as wide when she smiles, laugh twice as hard when she giggles and save the strength she gives you for a moment when she might need it back. It is important to take a little time for yourself. Chelsea will fell everything you feel (especially from her Mommy). So, let the negative thoughts melt away and replace them with only positive thoughts. She will feel it from you. There is no other bond closer than mother & child. Continued positive energy will be sent your way for a quick return home.
Payers for you always Carey! BIG PRAYERS for Chelsea to stay healthy this winter...
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